FILIPINO CULTURE IS TOXIC: a message to filipino parents | Like It Is
stop the toxic behaviours! its time for change!
This is my first official episode of “Like It Is” where I share my realest, raw thoughts about topics I feel passionately for. Expect to see these every Thursday where I say it “Like It Is” 😉
**DISCLAIMER**: I am proud of my culture and where my family came from. What I am not proud of are the negative effects on the youth of the some of the practices our culture has normalized. ALSO, to any of my own family members watching this, none of this was directly related to you. You guys are awesome. Thank you for being awesome. Love you guys.
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Contacts from Desio (Delicious Honey)
Having a filipino parent is sucks,why did i born on this country instead of america, im a filipino but being filipino is sucks,my father was too annoying in public and he talk alot until i rage when i talk its disrespect,i hate my family especially my dad to,he gets mad easily at little things,and always scolding at me whe. I got bad grades such as 16/20, If you're foreigner don't marry a filipino man, because filipino dad
has a bad parenting skills,i wish i was born on America
Girl you have an incredible mind. Very well said. People like you give me hope.
Filipino culture revolves around narcissism. That’s why prestige in careers is praised. Sadly, vanity is important in Filipino culture. Pure delusional
i cant stand the way they talk….
YOUR FILIPINO TOO I HATE FILIPINOS THERE SOO MEAN TO ME
For my fellow filipinos and filipinas do what makes you as a person happy and enjoy the fuck out of it. its our life not theres fuck trying to impress them we don’t need there approval on if we are doing right from wrong ❤
you have been blessed with open communicated parents because lorrrddddd jeeesuss its something esle
your so dramatic
THISSSS ITS SO BAD LIKE I AM TRAUMATIZED FROM MY MOTHER
My parents are from the Philippines and my parents would be very abusive. Mostly my mother…when we moved to the United States, I thought my mom wouldn’t abuse me anymore because its illegal to abuse your kids. But, my mom didn’t care and still abused me. Not only my mother abuse me but, yells at me for something that I didn’t do. She would compare me with other people that I felt like I wasn’t enough and will never be enough. I tried so much and even at school. But, it wasn’t enough for my mom. My mother and father would say, “You are so ugly and so fat..why can’t you be like the other girls t school. Skinny and beautiful. Get out of my sight. Seeing you like this gives me a headache.” I felt as if I wasn’t the daughter they wanted and felt like I have no point for being alive. Everytime I would tell the struggles to my parents, they would say that I was dramatic and one time, my mom was pissed of me “complaining” that she cracked my phone. I took offf the screen protector and my phone was broken. I told them about it and told me that I SHOULD PAY FOR THE DAMAGES OR IF NOT, GET MY OWN PHONE. I never got to express my identitiy and who I am but my parents were like NOPE and never felt value. If I try to be by myself, then they will treat me like an outcast. I remember the most traumatizing moment with my toxic mom. I remember my mom saw my bad grades and beated me up with her hanger. This is the words that she said to me: “WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?! I WISH U WERE LIKE TITA *****’S DAUGHTERS. THEY ARE SO WELL- BEHAVED, SKINNY, AND PRETTY. YOU ARE UGLY AND SO STUPID. WHY DID I EVER BIRTH A DAUGHTER LIKE YOU?! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I WISH I COULD’V E LEFT YOU DEAD IN THE HOSPITAL. ( I have kawasaki disease) YOUR FATHER AND I HAD THE BEST LIFE UNTIL YOU CAME IN, AND RUINED EVERYTHING! WE WASTED SO MUCH MONEY ON YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU WILL REPAY US?!” She kept saying these words while beating me. After that, I had to walk to schooI with mom. I was as far away as I could and cried so hard while walking. The crossguards asked me what was wrong. My mom was there. These saw the marks on me and even a slap-mark. I couldn’t tell them the truth and I told them I trip and fell. When I arrived at school, I cried to my friends and told them what happened. They knew my mother. They take the car to school and see me getting beat up by my mom while we were walking. They comforted me and confronted me about it and asked if they should get help for me. I told them no because I didn’t want to make it worse. Up till now, I still got the same treatment from my toxic mom and where is my dad? Well, him being a pleaser, he would side with my mom. Everytime he sees my mother beating me up, he would just ignore it or pretends not to see it. When I grow up, I will take my revenge both my parents and make sure to make their life like hell like they did to mine
Oh god. I’m dating a Filipino and I’m feelings stressed about meeting the rest of the family. His mother (the one who’s Filipino) is more Americanized, but still pretty crazy and toxic. I’ve met his Filipino grandmother over FaceTime once and the first thing she says to me was a threat that she’s kill me😅. Even his mom who abused him when he was young said she’s even crazier than her so it feels like she wasn’t kidding😅. I’m so nervous.
you forgot to mention those Luis Vuitton or __ brand name are 95-100% FAKE lmao
the saddest thing is your message is most likely not going to reach the intended audience: Filipino parents. Cause most Filipino parents don't understand a lick of English, and won't even bother to learn it despite living in America for 14+ years. I sent this video to my mom and tried to have a meaningful convo, but all I got was ignorance and a refusal to watch the video. As soo as she heard you speaking English she immediately handed my phone back
Being Onion Skin "balat sibuyas" is also a toxic culture just saying.
Yes it is toxic and if you're a Filipino and you're in a family gathering then you're dead because aunt's and uncles will just criticize you, especially if you're a man.
I experienced all of what you’ve mentioned, until now I’m just suffering keeping what I want to express or what I want to say. Those toxic traits hits so bad. 😢
fee noys doesnt have their own identity ,,,, its all borrowed culture and tradition from other nation …
I married a Filipina. The yelling, blaming and making our kids cry is how she thinks parenting should be, and that I’m too soft for redirecting the kids to understand and focus situations. That only makes her angrier at me. I also get blamed for not celebrating things to the extreme levels she is used to. Between work, handling all the finances, repairing the house and yard, and spending time with the kids… I’m never living life to her approval. It’s always compared to how things are done in the PH and how she is a Filipino… standards I didn’t grow up with, nor feel I will ever fulfill.
Clearly she grew up in the west and comes back to the Philippines to apply her western views. Thumbs down
Overall, it’s not toxic. It still has more good than bad. My parents wanted me to be a pharmacist. I didn’t listen. By the time I was 19, they just knew I was my own man and accepted it. If you can’t handle the pressure by brushing it off your shoulder, then you’re just too sensitive.
Hispanic / Mexican culture is the same. It’s the same with Indian, Bangladeshi, Indonesian culture. This is why they stay in poverty as a culture and always struggle generation after generation. You have parents who expect the kids to support them, but then the kid who supports them will never be able to save anything and progress in their own lives, so they in turn will have a kid and expect the same This also creates a co-dependency. One person has to stand up and have the guts to say "NO" I will not support you (that person will be the "bad" person of the family and the "scapegoat" but it’s the only way to break that generational poverty curse) you don’t owe parents anything. You did NOT ask to be born, that was a choice your parents made. You don’t owe them for providing basic needs for you. That is what parents are supposed to do anyway. But the toxic parenting of these cultures tries to guilt trip the kids into thinking they owe the parents. If anything the parents owe it to their child to give them a better chance at opportunity than what they had. So these cultures mentioned above are parenting backwards.
They are raised since they are kids to think they are not good enough through parents repetitive nagging. It absorbs into the mind subconsciously and they carry that into adulthood then they carry that to their kids, and so on. They are unable to self-reflect and this creates generational poverty because they keep on repeating the mistakes of the previous generations. They are too narcissistic to admit the way they were taught was trash and their parents aren’t the end-all, be-all. So rather than make corrections they have this stupid false pride that borders on arrogance. Many of these parents are not true adults and should not have had children because they are incapable of even steering their own lives in the right direction, much less a child's life.
My Mental Health skyrocketed after my mom screams at me for not going to school. Why?
I was teased and bullied also whenever i arrived at school they will say at me "Mo Eskwela padiay ka? Ayaw nag skwela"